Psychology of Dating - Advice on Understanding Men, Women, And Dating.

A dating blog giving you advice on how to better understand men, women and relationships.

Why Do Women Play Hard To Get

Why do women play hard to get? This is a question that has crossed all men’s minds at some point in their life. He sits there staring at his phone waiting for her to reply to his text message.  Confused on why she may be playing hard to get.

Before we delve into the reasons why women play hard to get it, it is important to first determine if she is actually playing hard to get or is simply not interested. When a woman is playing hard to get she will pull away but leave the possibility of something more.


For example, if you were to ask a woman out for Thursday night and she says “I am busy that night, Maybe next week”.  Even though she didn’t give you a specific date, she left the possibility. This can be seen as playing hard to get.

However if she says, “No, I am busy that night”, Staring at you blankly without leaving the possibility of another date, then she is not interested.

Assuming she is interested but is just playing hard to get. This can be for various reasons

Past Experiences

Despite you good intentions, and desire to make her the happiest woman in the world, a woman had a life before you. A life filled with past dating experiences. A woman may be playing hard to get due to being hurt in the past. Or hearing tales of the heartbreak her friends suffered from the hands of men.

Hurt feelings take time to heal, so while she is healing she is cautious of who she gets involved with to avoid the same fate. She will be difficult to test your commitment to ensure that you are the type of man who will stick around and the type of man who will not intentionally hurt her.

The issue that arises with this is that men may go overboard trying to prove their worth to a woman.  Buying gifts, texting too much and crossing that line into NeedyVille. A dark town littered with friend zones that can ruin any chances that you had. So it is important that as a man to reassure her that your intentions aren’t to hurt her without trying too hard to push that point home.

To Be A Challenge

We live in a world in which we have been subconsciously taught from a young age to want what we do not have. A world in which the harder an item is to achieve the more valuable it is. We crave 80 inch televisions, castles in the sky and fast cars. When we finally get it we feel a rush of happiness and joy that is associated with that achievement.

This desire also extends to dating.  Women will play hard to get to increase her perceived value.  That way if you do end up dating that you will cherish being with her that much more. Decreasing the chances of her being taken for granted.

It Works

She is taught to never kiss on the first date, to wait at least 3 dates before sex, and to never seem too eager. She is taught this because it works. The desire to have what he cannot have is a strong feeling that is effective in building a man’s attraction. So she continues to do it throughout her life.

You shouldn’t take this personally. It is one the tactics both men and women use in the game of love. Though at times it can be frustrating, it also for some makes it that much more exciting. If you are not interested in women that playing hard to get, don’t worry there are lots of women that share that same mindset. All you have to do is get out there and keep looking.