“Wait what, you’ve been single for 5 years” He said. The first thing to cross my mind was, what a long dry spell, but he let me know that it was by choice and not the inability to find someone to date.
I stared at him like a child staring at his parents the first time they told him Santa doesn’t exist.
At the time I couldn’t wrap my head around a person who chose to be single and not have a companion that is always there for them. In Fact it wasn’t until I had a few more relationships and experiences under my belt that I truly understood why he would choose to stay single.
For a large part of my life I thought it was Date, Marry, and Kids. This is also the mentality of most men that I’ve come across these days and though there is nothing wrong with such a mentally, it does make you wonder if that line of thinking is because of what society has brought us up to believe or because it is truly what we desire.
I feel that distinction is important because when we can understand why some men stay single we can make a better decision about what we feel is best for us.
When a man gets involved, he gets emotionally invested, his heart joins the equation, and though no one gets involved in a relationship with the mindset that it is doomed for failure.
There is always the possibility. If that possibility happens that will leave him heartbroken,left to mend the pieces. Perhaps he was hurt in the past or maybe he just doesn’t want to get hurt at all.
Which ever the case, the fact remains he does not want to be hurt so by staying single, he avoids the emotional attachment that can lead to him getting his heart-broken.
Not to imply that dating a woman is like being a prisoner though I am sure some men will claim that it is. Dating a woman does come with a new set of responsibilities. You have to spend time with them, listen to them, take care of them, protect them, etc and for some men this is not a set of responsibilities they are willing to take on.
Some men due to social or psychological reasons were programmed not to be the commitment type.They have no interest in commitments, not due to the fear of commitment but rather just a disinterest in it from how they were raised.
It’s not uncommon to hear a man say he doesn’t want kids, and with kids being one of the large reasons for a committed relationship, it’s not to far off to think the same person doesn’t want a relationship.
Relationships are expensive! I’ll come right out and say it you save more money when you are single. Have you ever thought back through your past relationships and tried to estimate how much money you would have saved had it not happened…I have.
Now take note when I mean being single, I am not talking about being completely alone, but referring to a lack of a long-term relationship with a woman. A man can still fulling physical and in the moment desires without the need to get involved in something more.