100’s of dollars of my pay cheque went to dates when I lived in the city. It was a time in which I met numerous woman and would go on 3 – 4 first dates a week.
Besides the fact it is takes a ton of time and energy texting and arranging the date. The cost of the dates would eat through my pockets.
At the time typically I would take a first date to dinner and drinks, and then some activity after wards.
Ice skating, Bowling, Mini Golf, etc. Anything that gave us to chance to do some physical activity that was fun.
The dinner and drinks would cost about $70.00 and then the cost of the activity after would be about $40.00.
If it was once a week or the girls didn’t expect me to pay it wouldn’t be a big deal but doing this 3 to 4 times a week was killing me, but I couldn’t stop. I liked dating too much.
I shared my predicament with a buddy of mine and he laughed, told me he would only charge me 50 dollars a week for the advice. I would save hundreds, he joked.
Then proceeded to tell me just take them for coffee for the first date. A simple answer that never crossed my mind but it made sense. Why should men be cheap on the first date?
The first date is essentially just the phase in which you get to know the girl. Ask what she does, where she grew up etc.
The time is spent getting to know one another , to see if there is chemistry there. Because of this, a guy shouldnt make a large investment.
If there is no chemistry then there will be no second date and that is money down the drain.
He compared it to stock investing. Would you put your money in a company stock that you did not take the time to understand, figuring out if it is a good match for you? Of course not.
Keeps It Casual
We went on to talk about if you make such a big deal about the first date, such as taking her to a nice restaurant, bringing flower,etc.
It puts more expectations on the date and thus more pressure. By not spending much money on the first date, it makes the date feel like a casual no pressure involvement.
This gives both people the chance to relax and that makes it easier to be who you really are. Which is what first date should be about anyway.
Showing the person a sneak peek into the real you.
Investing too much into the first date also runs the risk of making it seem to try hard and thus for some women can seem needy. Why are you trying so hard to impress here? Have you not been on a date in a while?
Any sign of neediness can ruin a date.
And the most obvious reason to be cheap on the first date, you save money. Which allows you to spend it in other way to better yourself.
Which indirectly makes you more attractive because it provides you with more experience to share when you do go on a date.
Now I am not saying to go full Scrooge on your dates, just not on the first date.
Keep it light and casual, allowing you to focus more on her and seeing if there is chemistry there, and then on the second date you can fly her out to Paris for a romantic dinner.