Why Do Women Receive More Online Dating Messages Than Men

Online dating message

Online dating popularity is increasing everyday, because  for most people meeting another person through online dating is simpler, than meeting them in person. With the simple click of the “X” they go away. You can look at their profile, judging every word, every image and if you are interested send an online dating message.

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All that is left is to sit back in your pajamas and flips flops waiting for a reply that shows that they are also interested.

Though all the messages are not all smooth and charming, on average women will receive more messages than men. Some receiving in the near the 100 mark of online dating messages in a week. A number that most men can only spend late nights dreaming of. The questions remains, why will a woman receive more messages than a man? Well

Online Dating Population

Originally this was my first thought. That the reason, women receive more online dating messages could be attributed to a higher population of men in online dating. That men like magnets would be pulled to where there are women, eventually outnumbering them. To my surprise by this online dating statistic , even though there are more men in online dating. It is only by a small margin.

Percent of male online dating users 52.4 %
Percent of female online dating users 47.6 %


On its own, this isn’t a large enough difference to substantially effect the amount of messages sent..

Men Are The Pursuers

Similar to the real world in which if you were to visit any packed bar or club. You’d notice that most of the conversation initiations are being done by men, because they are the aggressor. This is a standard that has been set from prehistoric time, a cave man would grunt sweet compliments to a passing cave woman.

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One of the reasons for this is because of the male mentality to meet as many women as possible. A trait that evolved from the male ancestor mentality of “More sex  = More children = higher chance of passing your genes”. Since this mentality is a large part of male thinking in the real world, it is normal that mentality would transfer over into the virtual world.

Dating Standards

We all have dating standards that have been molded by our experiences throughout life. Our dating standards determine the people we interact with romantically. Women in particular have higher dating standards than men. Women throughout their life are approached by the opposite sex more. Because of this they learn to filter out the ones that they are not interested in quickly.

It is not possible to take the  time to in depth get to know each one. This would be too time consuming. Since a relationship is a bigger invest for a woman, she has to be pickier in who she chooses to date. Due to the fact she is limited more than a man in the time that she can bear children.

So when browsing male profiles, before sending a message women will carefully examine a profile. To see if this man is worth that investment.

While a man tends to be more visually driven. Another trait passed down by their ancestors. When men were highly driven by the desire to pass on their genes. They would need to judge a woman’s fertility quickly, this way being visually. That is why men like long hair, small waists , big hips, etc and why a man will message numerous beautiful women without taking the time to look at her profile.

Women also have to be cautious due to the dangers of men. Sure the majority of the world are good loving people but there are still a fair amount of people that would hurt another person. A man can be a serious threat to a woman’s safety so she has to truly get to know him seeing if he meets the dating standard of safety. A dating standard men don’t need to factor nearly as much with women.

So if you are a man, don’t be discouraged by the fact you don’t receive as much messages as women.  Stand tall, You are gifted with the thrill of the chase.

If you are a woman, though the messages at times can be overwhelming, men mean well. Be flattered that men find you beautiful though sometimes they can not articulate it very well.

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