“He is such a jerk!” she says while crying on your shoulder. He has broken up with her. This will be the 10th time this week and like all other times she will go back to him. He must have magical power to keep her coming back. It doesn’t make sense to you.
As her tears dampen the sleeve of your shirt you wonder, “Why do women like jerks”?
Not all jerks start off from the get go as such. Some are actually quite nice and charming at the beginning of a relationship. It is as the relationship progresses that he begins to reveal his jerk like tendencies’.
By the time he shows his true colors, she already has feelings for him and is invested in the relationship. To break off a relationship when there are deep feelings involved is never easy, even when the reason is the guy is abusive.
We live in a society in which we are taught to want what we can’t have or do not have yet. We yearn for higher paying jobs than we currently have, a bigger house and a faster car. We assign value to items based on how easily achieved it is.
This is no different than in the dating world, a man that is harder to “achieve” has a higher perceived value to some women. Because of this she tries hard to get him or keep him.
There are also women that simply enjoy the thrill of the chase from a challenge. The unpredictability of not knowing if she can have him can create an emotional high that she loves. This is the same with men and why some women play hard to get because it works.
Our past plays a large role in shaping the person that we are today. Some of us are confident because of it but there are others that have low self esteem due to their experiences. They see their worth as low value.
So when they are with a man that treats her as low value she feels a sort of connection because they are in an agreement of her worth. While a man that treats her nice and sees her as high value, she thinks is wrong and that simply doesn’t understand her.
Looking from the outside in, we may think it is easy to simply tell her to stop dating jerks. However underneath the hood, there are multiple psychological reasons as to why some women like jerks.
This means that it is not a simple fix of just saying no. It can take time to change her ways. The first step for her and for you is to understand the reasons behind why do women like jerks then work on the reason itself.