Psychology of Dating - Advice on Understanding Men, Women, And Dating.

A dating blog giving you advice on how to better understand men, women and relationships.

Why Do Women Expect Men To Pay For Dates

Why do women expect men to pay for dates’? Most men and even women have thought this at some point. However this question didn’t enter my mind until my early 20’s. I grew up in the Bahamas and in all my years being there and going on dates I have never had a date offer to pay.

This is how I grew up and because of that, it became my “normal”, a man pays. It wasn’t until I moved to Canada that I got a shock. I was on a date and when the bill came and I reached for my wallet, so did she.

I was confused at first, maybe she was reaching for a weapon? But low and behold it was her purse. Before that day I didn’t even know women carried money in their purses to dates, because like I said I grew up in a different culture.

As I dated more Canadian women, some would offer to pay and some wouldn’t and it is then that I started to wonder, why do women expect men to pay for dates.

The Past

In the earlier times women didn’t work as much as men, they were mostly housewives that stayed home and took care of the kids. Because of that they didn’t have much if any money so when going out a man had to pay the bill because he was the provider.

This is where the trend of men paying for women began. It wasn’t until recent years that more and more women joined the work force and are now getting equal pay to men that there was a shift.

But because the past in which women were mostly housewives isn’t THAT long ago the feeling of obligation that some men and women feel about who pays for the date still remains. Though slowly that mindset seems to be dwindling away.

Present Mindset

Because of the past there are still expectations that a man should pay. Movies and television will show a man paying for dates, causing an association that a man is not a gentleman or is chivalrous if he doesn’t pay.

This mindset is to the point that some women will feel a man is cheap and will not be a good provider if he decides to split the bill, and thus they lose interest.

This forces men into a corner that if they would like to make a good impression with the woman, he should pay for the date. If he doesn’t pay he won’t feel like a gentleman.

However this seems to cause another issue, because if the woman thinks a man is trying to impress her with money this will have a negative impact on the date since she will feel that he is trying to buy her affection.

With these reasons being so engrained in society some women will expect men to pay for dates for a long time.

However I urge men to make a decision based on how he is feeling rather than the idea of obligation.

The feeling of obligation to spend money to keep a woman happy is a dangerous spiral that can eventually cause you to go broke.

You could end up living on the side of a street asking for change from men that pass by because it wouldn’t be gentlemanly to ask a woman for change.