I woke up in the middle night again. Another dream about my ex girlfriend. A relationship that ended 5- 6 years. For the past few months, I have had dreams about my ex girlfriend at least once a month initially with the frequency increasing. While before she never crossed my mind.
To be honest I found it strange, and a little creepy. Am I not over a relationship that has been buried for about 6 years? Am I only moments away from buy books on How to get my Ex girlfriend back or becoming a potential stalker?
I pray not. It wasn’t until today that I was driving to get lunch that I realized what these dreams meant. I saw a mother and her child walking on the sidewalk and in a realization that couldn’t be any more cliche. I realized that it is not my Ex that I was missing but rather that level of love that we had or at least that idea of love. Consciously I’ve never felt anything was missing, clearly my subconscious disagrees.
What a relief…. I think…Which brings me to the question. Do We All Want Love? And Why?
To an extent, yes. At our core most of us want to go forth and produce. To bring another piece of us into this world and molding that piece of us into their own person so they themselves can go and have their own experiences. This is crucial to us as humans and our continuation as a species. So if we are going to take on this huge life altering job, why not do it with someone that we love to be with. A person that makes it all worth doing this with.
Perhaps what we crave is companionship. As social creatures, the importance of companionship can not be overstate. This is why, To punish prisoners they are sent to solitary confinement. this is quite effective in changing their behaviors.
Studies have shown when socializing is low, depression increases. So being with someone provides us that companionship. It helps us through this life, it builds a bond and that bond can evolve to love.
Or Maybe what we think is love doesn’t exist and we are all chasing the idea of love that society has created. Perhaps it is as Don Draper a Marketer in the series Mad Men says “The reason you haven’t felt it is because it doesn’t exist. What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons.”