Ladies, have you ever been in a relationship with a guy that you just couldn’t get to open up? Making you wonder why do men hide their feelings? Don’t worry you are not alone; it is pretty common for a man to have trouble expressing his feelings.
Men tend to bottle up their feelings for a variety of reasons that doesn’t necessarily mean that it is directly because of you but rather his internal issues.
Issues that can range from simply fear to the way that he was raised, issues that we will cover in this article.
Men in today’s society feel the need to be seen and to feel tough. This is because of a combination of biology, social influences and upbringing.
Biology plays a large part in why men feel the need to be tough. This is a residual feeling that has been left from the hunter gather days of man in which men were hunters and thus had to be tough and resilient to survive.
Not to imply that women are not tough, women are extremely tough but women also due to being more social creatures than men provides them with the capability of properly being able to express their feelings.
Women when interacting with other women is a much more social and emotional conversation. In most cases men will simply sit around joking with one another and not delve into an emotional conversation.
This is also because of social influences and upbringing. Men are taught by their fathers and society to be tough, self reliant, and masculine. The act of being emotional and sensitive is frequently associated with femininity which is why men growing up shy away from such acts.
This is another reason why men hide their feelings, fear.
More specifically fear that his feelings may be rejected by his spouse making him feel alone.
Fear that his feelings may hurt her, maybe he doesn’t feel the same away, maybe he thinks she has changed and to communicate those feelings to her may hurt her and push her away.
Fear of conflict and confrontation is another fear that may be an obstacle in the way of a man’s expressing his feelings.
So how do you solve this issue? First of all be prepared for the fact that you may not be able to change this about him. A man lack of expression can be deeply engrained in him and hard to change. The change also has to be a decision made by him and cannot be forced by another person.
This is why it is important to not pressure him otherwise this may cause him to dig his heels in the ground becoming stubborn or closing off entirely.
Nudge gently, mention that you love when he opens about his feelings rather than saying that you hate when he doesn’t open up. This will give him positive reinforcement to open up more because you love it and he wants to make you happy.
Being open about your feelings first is deeply helpful. Similar to a child that may be afraid to eat their vegetables for the first time but the mom takes a bite first to show there is nothing to fear.
When we see another person perform an act first it then becomes easier for us to do it.
Lastly don’t blame yourself, men at times can be difficult to understand so it is important to be patient with him and slowly learn what makes your man tick.
One of the books that Id recommend checking out is For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men