For a single woman dating, one of the most infuriating thing is guys that wait to call after a date. It is as if every guy has a manual that tells them do not pick up the phone before the 3 day mark.
As if leaving the woman in phone libido will melt her heart and have her begging for a second date like a heroine addict returning to his dealer.
The first time I heard about the “waiting rule” is in the movie Swingers, in which the guys debate when is the right time to call, with answers varying from 2 days to 3 weeks, yea..3 weeks.
And with this type of mentality still prevalent in today’s society, it leaves some women wondering why do guys wait to call. There must be a reason right? otherwise why would guys do it.
By fear I am not referring to a guy who shakes and trembles at the mere thought of calling a woman. I am talking about the fear of appearing needy/desperate. A needy man is a huge turn off to woman and that knowledge has become common.
That knowledge then causes men to be cautious in some of their actions, one of them being when they call.
He worries that if he were to call the same day or the following day that she will categorize him as a needy man, which will ruin his chances at a future with her, so to be safe he waits a few days to give the impression that he is aloof.
A buddy of mine is perfect example of a guy that loves to wait to call a woman. He is the real life embodiment of Trent, yes I know another Swingers reference.
When I asked why he does, he says it is because it makes him a challenge. That if a woman is waiting on him to call then he comes off as the prize that she wants and not vice versa.
This aloofness makes him more attractive in her eyes, because it comes off as he is not that interested and like Eve in the garden of Eden there is a allure to wanting what we can’t have.
Meaning when he does call he will have a better chance at getting another date.
Though he warned me that you shouldn’t wait too long for fear that her interest may fade away entirely.
Lack of Interest
To put it more bluntly, if he makes you wait then he just not that into you.
Though some guys may do it to seem like they aren’t overly interested, out of fear of seeming desperate and wanting to come off as a challenge.
But there are guys that do it because they simply just aren’t interested. So instead of facing her directly and letting her know. He chooses to avoid potential conflict or directly hurting her feelings.
He just doesn’t call or takes long to call in hopes that she will get the message and move on. A poor way to handle things but sometimes that’s just how the cookie crumbles.
Which ever the reason that guys wait to call be sure not to take it as a personal jab at you but rather as an insight into the guy. If anything it will help you decided if this is the type of guy you want to date.