Do you have a song that takes your down a relationship memory lane? If you do let me know in the comments, for me it is the song Daughters by John Mayer.
This song reminds me of one of my most influential relationships, in which I dated a girl with subtle but powerful daddy issues, issues that stemmed from the verbal and mental abuse he had inflicted on her growing up.
It wasn’t until after the relationship had ended and I heard that song that it all clicked for me and I understood the influence a father figure can have on a girl’s life, whether it be positive or negative.
Your first is always memorable, your first date, your first kiss, your first sexual experience. Whatever the scenario you always remember your first. It influences your future decisions because it becomes the basis of your experience.
This rings no truer than with a father and daughter relationship, which is a young girls first experience with a male.
The way he communicates with her, makes her feel all become a basis on what she thinks a man is supposed to be and make her feel.
He is the first man that she gains an attachment for and loves, obviously I don’t mean this in a romantic sense though there are theories that claim otherwise such as the Electra Complex.
What I mean is, the positive and negative traits of her father can affect the men she is attracted to or the way she acts with men in relationship.
For example, if her father were an athletic man, he loved to go running, play sports, and he would always take his daughter with him. They would run, kick the soccer ball around, and play catch.
This makes her smile and she creates a positive attachment to sports and athleticism, because of the fond memory of the times she had with her father.
When she hits her dating phase, she is drawn to men that show interest in sports and athleticism because that makes her feel good due to her past memories with her father.
The same way a father can create a positive association, he can also create a negative association, which is usually when people would say a girl has daddy issues.
When a girl dates a substantially older man, stays in an abusive relationship though not always these are examples that can be attributed to daddy issues.
Who she dates or the way she acts in the relationship can be perceived as a subconscious attempt to work out problems with the father/daughter relationship or to mimic that past relationship.
So if you’re dating a girls who is especially difficult to understand, take a look at her relationship with her father, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree