As a guy I never realized how much online dating messages women received, even if you asked me I would have probably guessed 4 or 5 a day. Oh how wrong I was.
It wasn’t until my at the time roommate showed me her Plenty of Fish inbox that I got a sneak peek into how men act online.
If you are woman and tried internet dating then you know what I am talking about. Mountains upon mountains of emails telling you how beautiful you are.
Which I can only imagine starts off as flattering but starts to lose its appeal at the 400th email mark.
If it stopped at the compliments I’d understand but as I read more and more of my roommates messages, there were numerous emails just straight to the point asking for sex, some even using money as an incentive.
I was stunned by the boldness but my roommate looked at me like this was a normal everyday occurrence when she logged on her profile.
The interesting thing to me though is that outside of online dating men tend not to be so direct and bold when it comes to women.
Sure there are exceptions but they are well…the exceptions. So what changes when a man turns on his computer what makes him so fearless with women then, rather than when he was walking down the street.
I am partly a geek, and in my teens I read quite a few forums. On these forums you would interact with some of the most insulting people in existence.
Who acted that way for the same reason that men say anything to women online. Anonymity.
Being behind their computer screen no one really knows who they are, and where they are.
This gives the person a feeling of no consequence. If a man were to walk up to a woman on the sidewalk and telling her within the first few sentences some of the messages I read in the inbox.
The world would be quite different. When you take away consequence through anonymity, a man will say what he wants without worry.
My first attempt at online dating, I can remember writing my first message. I was partly nervous as I thought of something extremely clever to say.
I thought that If i spent enough time on it and was funny enough she would be mine. I sent it and no reply.
The second message to another girl was easier and with each consecutive message, it became easier until the point I felt like I could say anything I wanted.
I became desensitized to sending messages, and wrote whatever I felt in that moment.
If i thought she was beautiful Id just send that message while earlier on I would have felt nervous sending it.
And its through desensitization some men become bolder in what they say to a woman online.
Now granted there are men that are bold online and offline but in my experience I find that the majority of men aren’t that bold when it comes to a women they just met.
Its an interesting sight to see how much a man can change the way he acts with just a slight change in circumstance.
A woman he walked by on the street he wouldn’t stop to compliment but give him a laptop and a dating site and suddenly he becomes Casanova.