The reason most men are afraid of approaching women is become of an old defense mechanism that was passed down to us from our ancestors. We fear what is unfamiliar and unusual. This is a defense mechanism that’s purpose is to protect us and even extends to all animals.
In an episode of Myth Busters, African Elephants were exposed to American white lab rats to test the myth “ Are Elephants afraid of mice”. Each time that the elephant noticed the mouse, the elephant would take steps to avoid the mouse. Clearly the elephant has an advantage over the mouse, but because a white mouse is unfamiliar to a African Elephant. The Elephant avoids it to be safe.
Back in a time when dangerous animals and similar situation were more common this was and still is invaluable to us. Because approaching women is unfamiliar and unusual to most men, this feeling is still triggered, even though the same level of danger is not there. As far as I know anyway, if there are any men out there that have been mauled by a woman, let me know.
So if it is a defensive mechanism, why are some men not afraid of approaching women?
There are a few possibilities.
As a young child they may have had a crush on a girl, they fought the initial fear and expressed their feelings. She reciprocates his feelings and he has a positive experience. That experience provides him with confidence and we know that Women Love Confident Men so the next time he wants to approach the girl he likes, it’s not such a big deal and the effect snow balls into adult hood.
Another possibility is that he grew up around women. Maybe he was a bouncer at a strip club or He had 10 sisters and being raised around so many women, made the communicating with them familiar to him. So extending those communication skills with the women he didn’t grow up is a much shorter leap than a guy that has no experience talking and being around women.
He spent time around men that weren’t afraid of approaching women. Though not as potent as approaching a women yourself, if you are in a situation where you see other men approaching women and seeing for yourself that the reactions they receive is not a big deal. This will provide you with a more realistic view of what happens when you approach a girl that you are interested in and also gives you encouragement to do it yourself.
So for those of use that didn’t have those experiences what is the cure for getting over the fear of approaching women?
Unfortunately there is no shortcut or magic pill. The only way to conqueror your fear is to follow the Nike slogan of “Just Do It!” It is through that repetition that the fear will gradually be reduced until the day it no longer exists.
For example, I am afraid of sky diving, however if I sky dived every day for 5 years. Would I still be afraid of sky diving by the end of the 5 years? Of course not, it has become a familiar experience.
So now that know why you are afraid and also how to conqueror that fear. It is up to you to make the next step.
P.S. if anyone wants to provide me with 5 years of skydiving funds, leave a comment