Did you know that words account for only 7 percent of our overall effective communication? It doesn’t much matter what you say with your mouth, as long as you send the right message with your body. The truth is that a whopping 55 percent of personal interaction occurs through body language alone. This should come as especially welcome news to those who get speechless when they’re dating someone new. Of course, when your body does most of the talking, you need to be sure that it says what you want it to say. If a second date is what you want, open body language is essential.
What is Open Body Language?
Let’s start with what it isn’t. Any gesture that closes off or covers your most vulnerable areas, such as the throat or stomach, is not an open posture. Folding the arms will only make you seem defensive. The same is true of crossing the legs. Looking down or away from the person you’re with is a definite no-no if you’re interested in making a connection. Also, beware of the direction in which your feet are pointing. If you angle them away from your date, you subconsciously send a message that your interest lies elsewhere.
On the plus side, closed body language can signal to the other person that you are not a threat. This might come in handy if you think your date is afraid of you.
What Does Open Body Language Look Like?
In contrast to the closed variety, open body language leaves your vulnerable areas open and undefended. Stretching your legs out in front of you or keeping them uncrossed, particularly with knees apart, can make you appear very relaxed and welcoming of your date’s potential advances. The same is true of the arms. Keep them away from the front of your body. The idea is to leave yourself undefended by your extremities.
How Else Can I Use Open Body Language?
When trying to establish a romantic connection, remember that the eyes have it. To use yours to effect, know how to maintain eye contact. While an ordinary gaze continues for about 4.5 seconds, a romantic gaze lasts nearly twice as long, and you will probably feel the exact instant at which things go from platonic to profound. Be extremely careful, though. Hold the look too long, and it will quickly start to feel creepy.
Leaning inward toward your date will also show an interest, as will a synchronization of movement. By matching your rate and volume of speech, choice of words, body movements and general attitude to those of your date, you send the message that the two of you are in accord on a deeper level.
Will Open Body Language Always Work?
By signaling that you are relaxed and at ease, open body language will normally make your date feel comfortable and attracted to you. It’s best, though, if the connection happens naturally. When the differences between you are too great, open body language won’t be of much use. If that’s the case, it’s best not to force things. Just say goodbye and go your separate ways.