Psychology of Dating - Advice on Understanding Men, Women, And Dating.

A dating blog giving you advice on how to better understand men, women and relationships.

The Importance of Having Dating Standards

People are social creatures and generally do not want to be alone. It is well documented that couples have an overall longer lifespan than their single counterparts.

Couples usually report a higher standard of living and more emotional satisfaction and well being. Dating is a great way of meeting your potential soul mate, but too often does the desire to have a companion override standards. It is essential that you keep your standards when dating.

People that are willing to lower their standards to find a companion.


Doing this often results in emotional turmoil, relationship problems and even psychological distress.

Lowered standards can have a devastating emotional impact. Even if you lower your standards at first, you will start to want your partner to live up to your standards. This can result in anger and resentment as your standards are increased. These negative emotions often result from the person feeling that they are not good enough.

They can also come from frustration caused by wanting more from your partner. Your partner may start to try to meet your standards, but if it is not a true change, resentment is always under the surface.

You may not even see it because you are only looking at the changes and not that the changes are not sincere.

As struggles over individual standards grow, the relationship will begin to slip into uncertain ground. As emotions may run high, fighting may erupt over issues previously thought as unimportant. These sort of fights are usually because one person or the other has raised their standards. It is not that people raise their standards, but they return their lowered standards to their previous level.

In some cases, this change of standards may make you or your partner trapped with feelings of betrayal. Between the fighting and the negative emotions, relationships can find themselves short lived or on a constant downward spiral of destruction.

The end results have true psychological impacts on both people. Feelings of rejection can make people even more likely to lower their standards in future relationships. They feel that maybe they had set standards too high so they lower standards even more. Feelings of abandonment can lead to overwhelming depression and loss of self worth.

If the person is unable to break out of this dangerous mind state, self destructive behavior could result.

The results of lowering your standards can be devastating. Even though you may lower your standards with the best intentions, you will slowly raise your standards back up. Standards may include not wanting a partner with habits like smoking or drinking. Some people may strive to keep in shape, while others do not.

These behavior differences can result in different standards that can spiral out of control later in the relationship. Only you know what you want from a future partner. If they do not live up to your standards, you need to keep looking. You should not settle for someone who does not meet your standards.

Doing so risks the long term happiness of both people and creates a self destructive relationship.