I know what you are thinking. No Duh! Doesn’t sex mean that you have taken the next step and are no longer friends? Well no that is not always the case. Sometimes there is no strings attached sex, 1 night stands, a random drunken night, etc.
This topic came to mind because I am reminded of this girl who was a friend of mines, I knew her for few months and I never had any emotion for her beyond that. I did however know that she had a bit of a crush on me. One drunken night we hooked up and even before we did the deed, I was honest with her and told her be one time thing. At the time I was fueled by physical need rather than, actually having feelings for her on that level. I didn’t tell her that part.
However come the next morning, the strangest thing happened. As she got up to get dressed, I felt some sort of connection to her. I looked at her different and actually thought of what it would be like to date this girl. I asked her out..officially and we dated for a while. So essentially that drunken night of sex lead to her getting out of the friend zone in which otherwise she wouldn’t have.
I later earned that the reason was Oxytocin. For those that don’t know what that is, Oxytocin is a hormone that we produce. One of the occasions we produce it is during childbirth and is one of the reason mothers feel such a strong bond with their child. You feel it during intimacy and during orgasm and is sometimes even referred to as the love hormone.
It is such a strong hormone in regards to bonding with others, that people who are unable to produce this hormone are usually sociopaths, psychopaths and narcissists. Oddly enough though Sociopaths and Narcissists can be quite Attractive.
There was also a recent study that in the case of love and lust (sexual desire). Participants were scanned by a MRI machine and during the feeling of love and lust, researchers discovered that similar places in the brain were triggered. Meaning that the difference between love and lust may not be as different as people initially thought, and a 1 night stand of lust can actually mean a 1 night stand of love to our brain.
This sheds some light on the reason for my sudden interest in her. Another reason being that the positive feeling of pleasure and happiness that is associate with sex is then related to her because I experienced it with her at that time.
Do you have a similar story? Let me know in the comments below!