Ending a relationship with anyone can be difficult. Knowing how to end a relationship with someone you love can be that much harder. Maybe your partner will not work with you on subjects of great importance.
Perhaps they can no longer be trusted. Or maybe they have a substance-abuse issue that you cannot allow to take over your life as well. The reasons can be varied, but the result is always the same: a really tough time making the separation you know you must make.
The good news is that making the break can actually be less complicated than you think. By keeping a few concepts in mind throughout the process, it will go much quicker, less painfully, and be a much more positive experience in the end. There’s no use delaying; be strong. Let’s do this.
Know Your Goals and Reasoning
The first and most important part of the break-up involves knowing yourself and your reasons behind taking action. A method that helps some is to write-down their thoughts, a pro-vs.-con-list, and other contemplations. Being clear with yourself and want you want and deserve is half the battle already won.
No matter how badly you would like to scream this person into the ground, or otherwise show your extreme hurt, don’t do it. By carrying yourself respectfully, you minimize conflict and escalation.
You also prevent yourself from feeling guilty or embarrassed for any reason later; saying something cruel or acting immaturely in the heat of the moment. The benefits to staying calm and respectful are great – even if the other person can’t.
Express Yourself Clearly
Let there be no doubt as to why you are making this decision. Communicate this calmly and directly. Avoidance of this final declaration can lead to feelings of non-closure, further conversation, and so on. If the other person can’t stay calm or listen, write it down and leave it for them. Inability on their part to understand may or may not be genuine, but kindly remember, this is not your problem.
Be Fair With Arrangements
Even though the best way out is quick, the rip-the-bandaid-off-quick effect, redistribution and rearrangement of material possessions, pets, and business partnerships is often required in these situations. Be reasonable, be fair, and if the other person cannot, legal remedies can ultimately be sought.
Be Strong, Don’t Waver
If at step number-one you have committed yourself to the break-up, be strong, don’t waver. It is natural “miss” certain things about that person and to have occasional second thoughts. Be strong, remember why you are doing this. Your life will be better in the end and you will find certain pride in sticking to your guns.
Don’t Set Yourself Up For Failure
Avoid situations and thinking that prolong the hurt and dwelling. You have to move on. Don’t accept phone calls, find yourself in their company, or at places where you will see them. Instead, try new things, play your favorite song, go out, have friends over, find other preoccupation.
Breaking up with someone you love is hard to do. But if you follow these suggestions and keep it simple, you’ll be well on your way to the better life you envision. Good luck, stay strong, and know that happier, healthier times are totally within your control.