Psychology of Dating - Advice on Understanding Men, Women, And Dating.

A dating blog giving you advice on how to better understand men, women and relationships.

How Romantic Comedies Influences Us

Romantic Comedies are here to stay. They provide Hollywood tons of revenue. Rightfully so because there are millions of fans all around the world that enjoy them.

One of the girls that I am involved with, lets call her Ruby. She is wonderfully nice with lots of great qualities however she has certain traits that continue to push my buttons. She is dances back and forth over the too needy line. She is overly romantic and emotional at times.

At first I figured it was me and to an extent it probably is, because I am too “not needy”, I am a distant person at times and though I don’t mind romance from time to time.

When I do it, it is for the woman and not for myself. Then her happiness makes me happy but I do not enjoy the act of romance it self.

Over time Ruby’s, occasional neediness and and overly romantic nature begin to crack my patience. I take time to myself to try to analyze what are her reasons for acting like this. The first place my mind wanders is family because of the large influence family has on our mentality throughout our lives.

However as far as I know she has a great family. Her parents are happily together, they have a white picket fence and a dog. Maybe the problem actually does lie with me and I am just delusional about what is going on.

I am at her place while she is at class and decide to look for a movie to watch. It was in that moment, the answer stared me in the face. She has the largest romantic comedy collection that I have ever seen.

I grew up in a family that consisted of majority women, I have seen more Disney movies and princess than a aging boy should but I had never seen such a large collection of movies about romance in my life.

It all makes sense now, her over emotional nature and attachment was a result of the unrealistic portrayal of love that romantic comedies shows.

Builds Unrealistic Expectations

In romantic comedies, people fall in love in a matter of days and their love lasts a lifetime. The focus of these movies are always the initial stages of the relationship.

In which the relationship is fresh and new and you constantly all over one of another. They get lost in each other eyes for days neglecting any other responsibilities they may have.

Communication is not necessary because through love they know what the other person is thinking. They sacrifice their life after the ships hits a iceberg and sinks, despite not knowing the person for more than 3 days.

By growing up on romantic comedies, there is a risk of you being influenced in thinking that is how relationships are. This creates unrealistic expectations in relationships that can set a person up for disappointment when they realize that it is not like the movies. Making a relationship work takes hard work, communication, compromise, trust and honesty along with lots of other things. All of these are not depicted in a romantic comedies so learning how relationship truly function is never learned.

Now some may say “Well I don’t watch romantic comedies to learn about romance”.  That is fair and I applaud you. But there are numerous other people out there that were brought up on these movies from when they were teenagers.

An age range in which you are still in a huge development and learning phase. Though consciously you may not be using a romantic comedies as a learning tool it does cause some subconscious effect.

It similar to in the 90’s, back when we weren’t as desensitize to a lot of the things we are now.  Media blamed violence on action movies, videos games, rappers and television. They believed that the heighten aggression could be attributed those.

If that is true, wouldn’t it be the same with romantic comedies?

I don’t detest romantic comedies. There are some that I like, one being When Harry Met Sally. Romantic comedies can keep your hope alive in love and romance, after a negative experience. They make you cry, cheer, smile and laugh.

On that level I believe they are great. My problem lies in the continuous misconception of how relationships actually work.